24-2-2026

10:09am

i had a dream again. it was like before. everything was okay. everybody was happy. i went back to school and ###### was there. they weren’t suffering. they weren’t hurting me. everything was okay. they were happy to see me.

i’m still trying to understand what all of this means.

i’m realising that i hate myself just as much as i always did. i never healed, i just pretended to get better. i made myself smaller. i stretched and morphed and deformed myself beyond recognition over and over and over again. i lied and lied and lied and lied and lied.

i have love but i don’t know what to do with it. i don’t know what to do with the love you give me.